Grooming Geeks Pillows

Lesser known greek gods,

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Dating is so expensive...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Be creative...!"

"Absolutely not!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Nice haircut."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

The Cat Spa

Movember

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

Hair Traffic control.

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

"We have a very special relationship with our barber."

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'