Grooming Product Aficionado T-Shirts

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

Shampoo.

"Absolutely not!"

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'Doris,I told you not to use that sweet smelling Hair spray.'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'My axe is all dull! -- Have you been using it to shave your legs again?'

"First, go fix your head. You've got Hibernation Head."

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

GURLERS

"It's going to be my revolutionary triple blade design"

Man with lots of hair, holding a bottle of hair tonic waits outside of the patents office.

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

Today's Rapunzel

After deliberating on the topic for weeks, I've decided to grow out my toenails. Why? My mane of hair is lustrous and thick. My musk is overpowering. My muscles, toned. Primal. Sinewy. My chest hair is coifed and glistening. But I can't rest on my laurels. The only way to maximize my animal magnetism at this point is to grow talons. I'm a victim of my success. And here I was worried about world peace.

"Center parting please."

"Come on, let me cut your fringe! You look ridiculous!"

Martha went to desperate lengths to avoid flat hair.

Time to trim the eyebrows!

"Actually, Occam, the simplest explanation is that you need an electric razor."

The humidity plays heck with Sampson's hair.

"My regular hair stylist is on vacation."

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

The wool club for mammoths.

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"