Grooming Gear Guru T-Shirts

"It's going to be my revolutionary triple blade design"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Lesser known greek gods,

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Rapunzel in the Morning

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Dating is so expensive...

"Absolutely not!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Be creative...!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Movember

The Cat Spa

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Nice haircut."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Hair Traffic control.

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'