Groin Injury Survivors Gifts

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Gary turns 40.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"It's from my first fight. So make the stitches big so I'll have a gnarly scar to show off."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'Very funny!'

Being Serenading in Casualty

Time Out For Teddy

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

Man with broken leg in cast.

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'Very funny!'

"I got it in the sales."

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

A dog bringing a pirate his peg leg.

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"