Grocery Trip Survivor Gifts

Mother has strait jacket on son to control him at super market.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Smart card.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

"We're not there yet, because your daddy still can't remember which level he parked it on!"

Eye of Newt Helper

Man is attacked by barcodes.

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

Low income vampires.

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

The back-to-school shopping season claims its first victim.

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

'May I have your attention! I dropped my car keys in the soup, if you find them, please return them. They're my only set.'

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

'They didn't fit when you got them home? Maybe your contents settled during shipping?'

Complaints department

"Thanks for going to the store to get my butter, Baldo. But..why'd you buy 23 Super Red sodas?"

"I've got a teenage son!"

Woman trying on clothes and ripping them - Breakages to be paid for.

'Do these pants make me look fat?'

I don't get it - they give us name tag stickers, but they never let us mingle

Mmmm...not bad. And no diet slop aftertaste!

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

"Apparently after your fifth bout of food poisoning they suggest you take one home."

Brian felt sure he had been wearing trousers when he had first visited the men's outfitters!

Visual Gag: Brussel sprouts Russell sprouts a different range of sprout named