Grocery Shopping Adventurer Gifts

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

'I'm on a very strict diet!'

Mmmm...not bad. And no diet slop aftertaste!

"Turns out the new tomato gene is contagious."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Important Food Groups

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Dad Trophies

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Everything's gone up."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

Unusual Offers

'Diet considerations.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Witches Checkout.

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.