Grocery Store Adventurer Gifts

Shoppers of Mystery.

"Do we know what we're getting ourselves into with spelt?"

"I been to CVS, Whole Foods, Duane Reade, Stop & Shop, Safeway, Walgreens, Publix, Star Market, WinCo, Wegman's, Trader Joe's, Post Office..."

"Would you look at that, these carts provide just the right amount of social distancing!"

Your handwriting is terrible! You want how many Ho Hos and a barrel of what?

'Not another shipment of orange juice that is TOO concentrated and explodes.'

Billy strip: losing dad in a supermarket.

'Perhaps it would be easier if you reached up and passed the item to the customer, Colin!'

Carrion Helper

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Reality of Parenthood

You are what you eat

Wild fruit

Final clearance sale.

'I went window shopping today. I came home with four double glazed units!'

Slurpee? Snow White and the 7-eleven Dwarfs.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

Good Cholesterol / Bad Cholesterol.

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

"There it sat, still as night, in the bagging area ..."

Bobsleigh practice.

"This is the last time I do my shopping in space."

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

"It's the kind of trade you get at an all-night supermarket, kid."

'Just calm down Kitty, dear.'

"What really would be fun is if eBay had some department stores we could go to."

'Where are the jockey shorts?'

"Derek and I have always been very aware of the nutritional value of whole grains."

Insider Information.

"I always buy toilet paper in bulk. My family shreds through it so quickly."