Grocery Store Planner Gifts

'And use any of our 10c off Campbells Soup coupons for your dinner while we're gone, Patty.' 'Except for the alphabet soup coupons... those are mine.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

Bad gifts

Alphabet soup

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"No, we're not buying that cereal - do you know how much sugar it contains?! Not nearly enough!"

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

'I lost the grocery list you gave me. So I brought home a few weeks supply of pizza.'

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"Junior just kept saying 'add to cart...add to cart...'."

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

"Do you have these apples in green?"

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"Maybe I'll just put these cookies back."

'I don't care as long as don't end up being eaten over a sink.'

"Unexpected item in the bagging area..."

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

"Attention, shoppers!! We have a senior lost in the produce section!. . ."

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

"They call him the avocado whisperer. He knows when they are about to turn."

'Now that we have flounder genes, I'd like to go swimming.'

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

"I said bring back a tin o'tuna, you big dope!"

"Butcher!"

Under new management. But still no bananas.

'I've made a list of presents you could surprise me with this Christmas.'

"Hey, don't fall asleep Jimmy! Look at me! You'll be fine, it's just a scratch! We'll get back home in no time and on Sunday we'll be a nice omelette, you'll see."

Oranges, lemons and limes.