Grocery List Maker Gifts

Under new management. But still no bananas.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Alphabet soup

Friendly bacteria

After her laser surgery, Alice was able to read barcodes without an optical scanner.

"No, we're not buying that cereal - do you know how much sugar it contains?! Not nearly enough!"

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

Complex Carbs

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

"You really shouldn't shop when you're hungry."

"Do you have these apples in green?"

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"Louie 'Three Fingers,' Tony 'The Chin,' Joey Alfonso... Dang it, Vinny, you brought me the hit list instead of the grocery list!"

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

Dadonomics

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

"Unexpected item in the bagging area..."

"If this food is healthy, then what about the rest of the store?"

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

'I don't care as long as don't end up being eaten over a sink.'

"Today is catch-your-own day."

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

Petition to ban petitions from outside this market.