Grocery Lists Gifts

Early shopping lists.

"You forgot to pick up my prescription, didn't you?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Important Food Groups

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Dad Trophies

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Everything's gone up."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Unusual Offers

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Witches Checkout.

'Diet considerations.'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.