Shopping Spree Planner Gifts

'Can we go now, Dad - It's stopped raining!'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I shop, therefore I am."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

Bad gifts

How would Madam like to pay?

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

Shops Shops Shops - 'I've just remembered! We came here to catch a flight!'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

"It's wonderful, Harry! How late does Neiman-Marcus stay open?"

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"Let's just get through this first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

Don't miss this opportunity to own something really expensive!

"I shop to forget what I bought last year."

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"I've had a very trying day. I've tried on dresses, shoes..."

'Shove' (at big sale).

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"You went to Barneys without me? You slut!"

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

'You must have something in my size?'

"I invented 'shopping' and I haven't seen my wife since."

I brake for all 50 off Sales.