Grocery Shopping Explorer Gifts

Special Offer! Double-Sided Toilet Paper.

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

La Table

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Important Food Groups

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Dad Trophies

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Everything's gone up."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'Diet considerations.'