Grocery Explorer Gifts

Alphabet soup

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

"It says these chicken nuggets are from parts unknown."

"They call him the avocado whisperer. He knows when they are about to turn."

"I'd recognize a fake anywhere."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Unusual Offers

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

'How was the squid?'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'