Grocery Store Planner Pillows

'And use any of our 10c off Campbells Soup coupons for your dinner while we're gone, Patty.' 'Except for the alphabet soup coupons... those are mine.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

Bad gifts

Alphabet soup

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"No, we're not buying that cereal - do you know how much sugar it contains?! Not nearly enough!"

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

'I lost the grocery list you gave me. So I brought home a few weeks supply of pizza.'

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

"Junior just kept saying 'add to cart...add to cart...'."

"Do you have these apples in green?"

"Unexpected item in the bagging area..."

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"Maybe I'll just put these cookies back."

'I don't care as long as don't end up being eaten over a sink.'

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

"Attention, shoppers!! We have a senior lost in the produce section!. . ."

"They call him the avocado whisperer. He knows when they are about to turn."

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

"I said bring back a tin o'tuna, you big dope!"

'Now that we have flounder genes, I'd like to go swimming.'

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

Frozen Food Section.

"Butcher!"

Market. Cheeses. Trouble in the case, Ernie? Yeah, four of the cheeses are disliked by the others. The bleu cheese is always depressed and ruins any fun they try to have. The limburger is condescending - it thinks "sharpest" means "smartest." The low-fat cheese won't stop bragging about being the most fit and attractive. And there's a problem with the Swiss too? Yeah, it has a holier-than-thou attitude.

'I've made a list of presents you could surprise me with this Christmas.'

Under new management. But still no bananas.

Animal Crackers. It says, "Expiration date: Cats - Oct., 2017. Dogs - April, 2019. Tortoises - Jan., 2070".

Oranges, lemons and limes.