Grocery Store Giggler Gifts

'I'm going to have to scan, it could take a while.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'House wine?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."