Grocery Store Athlete Gifts

Bobsleigh practice.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Dad Trophies

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

Biker chopper shopper

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

Billy strip: losing dad in a supermarket.

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Shoppers of Mystery.

Die-hard soccer moms.

Good Cholesterol / Bad Cholesterol.

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

'Just bag the groceries kid.'

'Well isn't it ironic that we come all this way for fresh meat, and only stuff we find is deep-frozen?'

"I said bring back a tin o'tuna, you big dope!"

Market. Last night I spilled broth on my store discount clipping for mustard. There's soup on your Poupon coupon!

"I been to CVS, Whole Foods, Duane Reade, Stop & Shop, Safeway, Walgreens, Publix, Star Market, WinCo, Wegman's, Trader Joe's, Post Office..."

"I've got a teenage son!"

"I always buy toilet paper in bulk. My family shreds through it so quickly."

"It's like we're living in a banana republic, only without the bananas."

Food Olympics.

Oranges, lemons and limes.

Don't be a jerk, Bob – Take the cart back to the corral.

'Are you over 18 stone?'

'You're paying by check? That will be $8 dollars for the groceries and $15 dollars for the credit report.'

'Where do you keep the bait, er, uh, I mean, bird seed?'

Breakfast cereal..Healthy option...crap option.

'I'm going to have to scan, it could take a while.'

Animal Crackers. It says, "Expiration date: Cats - Oct., 2017. Dogs - April, 2019. Tortoises - Jan., 2070".

Hole Foods

Mmmm...not bad. And no diet slop aftertaste!

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

"But honey, I can't find the cornstarch and neither can the GPS."

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."