Grocery Rebel Gifts

Express Checkout: One Basket Only.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Thou Shalt Not!

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Garlic Free Zone.

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Valet park only"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I'm unable to process this image."

Pirates at the mall.

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

Blog Breakdown

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Recipes.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"