Grocery Miscommunication Fan Pillows

Wife to husband with grocery sacks loaded with parrots: 'It distinctly says 'a bunch of carrots,' Al.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

The Embarrassment of Van Gogh

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."

"Perhaps I should clarify. When I said to drink plenty of fluids ..."

Market. Last night I spilled broth on my store discount clipping for mustard. There's soup on your Poupon coupon!

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

'We're out of peanut butter.'

"Hold it, lady. You're not gonna use me on pizza, are you?"

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"