Gritty Humor Lover Pillows

True Grit

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Crap from the future.

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Can I have flies with that'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

The Monroe Doctrine

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

Honest Voting Stickers

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

Toenail clipping missile.

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."