Grilled Meat Lover Gifts

Too Much SOY

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'Steak Ted?'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Beach Barbecue

"Rump roast?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

Barbeque Casualty.

Important Food Groups

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Cow of BEEF

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Platter confusion.

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Family Butcher.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"