Greens Conqueror Gifts

'Ok, heads up! I'm swinging my sand wedge, and - yes! - I hit it out of the bunker!'

'I could get there with a wedge...you better hit a seven.'

Slippery hand golfer

'Did you know golf is the healthiest sport you can play?'

Rage.

Second lifeReal life.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

A Learning Curve.

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

Computer Gamers.

'Great putt. Lucky I hit the pin.'

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

"A man can't fully enjoy golf until he has a family of his own to avoid."

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

Tough germ.

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

'Why, yes, a banner season for squash! What makes you ask?'

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

"We have a problem. It's called the competition."

"My handicap is the water, trees, windows, the highway..."

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'