Greenery Grappler Gifts

'Weed wacker!'

The Jeopardy of Progress

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Secretive Weigh In.

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

Bad times to sneeze

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Grocery Shopping

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

Topiary: helping nature look her best

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

'Ms Phelps, it's a jungle out there. Must we make one in here as well?'

'Actually, the entire department was scheduled to be shut down until Bill, our resident genius, saved all our jobs by figuring out a way to get us designated as a protected wetland!'

"My handicap is the water, trees, windows, the highway..."

Escaping the Smog

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'