Greenery Grappler T-Shirts

'Weed wacker!'

The Jeopardy of Progress

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

Secretive Weigh In.

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

Bad times to sneeze

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

Grocery Shopping

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

'Ms Phelps, it's a jungle out there. Must we make one in here as well?'

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

Topiary: helping nature look her best

'Actually, the entire department was scheduled to be shut down until Bill, our resident genius, saved all our jobs by figuring out a way to get us designated as a protected wetland!'

Escaping the Smog

"My handicap is the water, trees, windows, the highway..."

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

"Look, Dad, I can explain my report card... Maybe I'm not the best student in the world...maybe I'll never be as good as you want me to be... Maybe..."