Green Technology Fan Gifts

"In the end, I chose not to wait to be phased out."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

Time Machine Collision

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

Smart Arse Meter

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

Windmill Maintenance

"All I need now is a trainer!"

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"It appears you have a virus."

Scientist in the department of energy: 'So far, so good, sir - we've learned how to make garbage out of oil.'

Industries with clean energy

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

You forgot to unplug the car before we left didn't you!!

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

Igloo with Heat Pump

Man riding a bike frame with a cat and a dog attached to harnesses where the wheels would normally be

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

'Cool hey? My metamorphosis is going to be broadcasted live on the internet...'

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

"What about tunnels and bridges?"

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"This one's perfect if you're going green, but still don't know how turn signals work."

'It's a design for a new environmentally friendly Swiss car but we can't get it out of neutral ... '

'He's our power hitter - but only on sunny days.'

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

Car on bike.

Lincoln's Gettysburg URL Address

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'