Green Technology Fan Gifts

"In the end, I chose not to wait to be phased out."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

Time Machine Collision

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

Smart Arse Meter

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

Windmill Maintenance

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

"All I need now is a trainer!"

Scientist in the department of energy: 'So far, so good, sir - we've learned how to make garbage out of oil.'

"It appears you have a virus."

Industries with clean energy

You forgot to unplug the car before we left didn't you!!

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

Igloo with Heat Pump

'Cool hey? My metamorphosis is going to be broadcasted live on the internet...'

Man riding a bike frame with a cat and a dog attached to harnesses where the wheels would normally be

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

"What about tunnels and bridges?"

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

'It's a design for a new environmentally friendly Swiss car but we can't get it out of neutral ... '

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"This one's perfect if you're going green, but still don't know how turn signals work."

'He's our power hitter - but only on sunny days.'

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

Car on bike.

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

How The UK's Net Zero Emission Plan Will Work: 1. Charging points for tower block residents.