Green Green Grunt Gifts

'You've lost it Dad - It's gone into that little hole with the flag in it.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Oh Hi!'

I fart more than that!

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

'Tell us what you've done with all the grass!'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Do you have garden pests?'

"May we see something from local hydroponically grown grapes aged in casks made from non-endangered trees?"

Argument between Disposable or Washable Nappies

"e-Harley Hybrids"

'Please don't say a word to me until my coffee gets right...about...here.

Protecting the green

'It gives me more energy than five grande espressos.'

Garden Shed

It was love at first sight...then one of them got hungry.

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

'We have to plant a tree every time we go out.'

"I hope you realize this is bad feng shui!"

'How quickly did you say the seas would rise?'

'Believe me, a pet doesn't do a day's work in his life.'

I want to buy green. I've got a checklist. Ok. Are they grown without pesticides? Yes. Trees. From local farms? Yes. And raised free-range? I believe that's your Christmas dinner.

'Could you help me on my grunting.'

'You're an SUV owner? Well, why don't you just park right up front here...'

'Six gallons of ethanol, three of it corn, two of it sugar cane and the rest cellulosic biomass.'

Rallying meets the environmental challenge

Attend to wall climbers...clear out exhausted annuals.

You can't be eco-club president. I'll be fabulous! You drive a hummer. It's my parents'! It disgraces the environmental cause. No fair! That's guilt by acceleration!

"Why can't they be satisfied with a simple checkout scanner?!"

Heavenly Recycling Centre