Green Eater Gifts

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

Peas on Earth.

"Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist."

"I don't see your point. I'm vegan, I expect veggies, and if they don't cater to my wants they're getting zero stars."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

All Natural Nothing

"Two vegans, please."

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Mom's restaurant - 'You can't leave until you've eaten your greens.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'He's all eyes!'