Greens Eater Gifts

'I don't know how you feel about it, but I'm thinking about moving to California and becoming a vegetarian.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

Peas on Earth.

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

Grocery Shopping

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Apples...37 Spinach...43 Peaches...51

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

'You wish, Timmy.'

Cull people who think, because it's organic, they can sell produce that's past its best.

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."