Greed Satirist Gifts

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

Spot the difference.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

Made in China

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'The recession is over, again.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

Greed.

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

'Wait a minute....!

The Euro - R.I.P.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

Money god

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

"It's all about you, isn't it?"

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!