Greed Satire Fan Gifts

Bear in hotdog eating contest.

"Looks like we found the issue."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"You know, there are other emojis."

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

Non-Power Breakfast

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Scapegoat of the Year

"It's a swearbox."

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

'You'll never succeed until the kissing up becomes instinctual.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

Greek Crisis

Death Boss

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

'Your ambiguities are impeccable, young man - just what our department needs.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

Dorothy and Toto use their special talents to rapidly ascend the corporate ladder.

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'