Greed Gifts

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Secretive Weigh In.

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

Greed.

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

Happy hour.

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Economic Growth' Elephant balancing on top of the world in a circus ring. Accompanied by a 'fat cat' ring master.

"I make money, therefore I am."

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

We Sell Chinese Stocks - Management is not responsible of you feel greedy again in an hour.

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Investments: Getting In Touch With Your Inner Greed

"That's an old wives' tale. Money does make you happy!"

'One more thing - find out if the new Securities and Exchange Commission head grants group amnesty.'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

Stocks dropped sharply on the rumor the government will appoint a greed czar.

"I'd like seconds!"

"Of course we should get equal pay, it's time men realised we're just as greedy as they are."

'I've noticed that it's only since I started laying golden eggs that everybody wants to be my friend...'

"My salary is struggling to keep pace with the empty bottomless pit of my greed."

Bear in hotdog eating contest.

'This portfolio is perfect for someone who has become too materialistic.'

'Um, the Christmas bonus was for all the staff...'

King Midas: The Golden Years