Grass Whacker Gifts

"Relax and enjoy the game! Relax and enjoy the game!..."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

A psychic mows the lawn.

Grass: We lost some good men today!

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Stealth grazing.

Be the grass...

'Robert likes to watch the mechanic as he works.'

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

Is there life after digestion?

CEO practices his golf in the office.

Bovine Fast Food

"One thing's for sure, nobody can fan a ball like you."

"He's in charge of mowing... I mainly fertilize."

Businessman hitting golf balls out window

Let's not make this personal!

Gardener's Calendar: April - Your lawn will have started to grow now.

You Know It's Hot When. . . Walking on the Grass Burns your Feet. . .

'If we keep the grass short, predators are less likely to sneak up unnoticed...'

'My human puts two scoops of chaff, one scoop of nuts, 1/4 scoop of feed balancer, a scoop of garlic, herbs, salt, mood calmer, electrolytes and more into my feed every day. But you just can't beat this stuff!'

"I'm greener, yes. But am I happier?"

"His grass really is greener!"

Spiro & Pusho and the mower.

'I'll eat you when I'm good and ready!'

Sorry, but I have needs!

"Don't even look at the grass!"

The only thing Fred hated more than weeds were weeds that made puns.