Ball Whacker Gifts

"One thing's for sure, nobody can fan a ball like you."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

Cat's golfing with a ball of yarn.

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

The first Dermatologist.

Wilfried Zaha

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

Destiny is all...

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"He's into binge fetching."

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

Snooker.

"Fortunately, Mr. O'Brien, a sucker's attorney is born every half a minute."

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'...On the other hand - the examined life sucks too.'

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

"Relax and enjoy the game! Relax and enjoy the game!..."

"It's tough balancing work, family and chasing that ball."

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

"And another thing. When they start telling you 'You've still got it,' you don't."

'The attorney will see you just as soon as you put this neck-brace on.'

CEO practices his golf in the office.

"By making him retrieve the ball I'm teaching him the self-reliance he'll need every day at work."

"Just fetch, don't ask why."

'I don't care what everyone else is doing, Mr. Wilson, in my courtroom we don't use pepper spray.'

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."