Graphics Gurus Gifts

'We need to mask the lack of substance in the presentation with fancy graphics and animations...'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

If nobody had invented graphics

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

Snowmen Around The World...

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'I could do that.'

ACME Balloon Company.

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Let's Celebrate

The Rise of Modern Art

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

But under a different accounting convention ...

'And right here they merged...'