Graph Gurus Gifts

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Damn! McGee's good!'

'Fortunately, our decline was slowed here when the marker ran dry.'

Acme Firework Company

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

If nobody had invented graphics

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Snowmen Around The World...

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

ACME Balloon Company.

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Let's Celebrate

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.