Grape Gurus T-Shirts

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

'This time I'm voting for sour grapes.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

A giant glass of red wine

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

Red Wine

Wine tasting

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'