Grape Grower Guru T-Shirts

Grape vines think alike.

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Dog in Daisys

'Oh Hi!'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Giant slug attacks a city

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"The trees are laughing at us."

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Worms? Have you tried Snyder's mulch pile?'

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

"I'm going to prepare a special dish for Thanksgiving dinner."

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"