Granny Knottier Gifts

Retirement home

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

'You're texting? Wait--'

Lady taking dog for walk.

Woman knitting a washing line.

"Grandma, what big – wait, is that a flamethrower?"

My, grandma, what a big premium you have for a plan that doesn't cover getting eaten by a wolf.

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

Rock on Grandma!

'The idea is to go where no man my age has gone before. I want to be the 'John Glenn' of Salsa.'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

A Cat becomes the victim of a broken spring in an armchair.

Muy mum rocks.

An old lady Kitesurfing

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

"Edward, you are already more than Christmassy enough."

Granny Wear

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

"They grow up too fast."