Grandparent's Day Gifts

'Grandpa's at that wonderful age when he can't remember if he already gave me my allowance.'

'Grandfather...what was so good about the old days?'

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

"Of course I hung out with my friends when I was young...at the clothesline"

"I'm not speaking to you as a Republican or as an American. I'm speaking to you as your grandfather."

'I want the same memory cleaner that grandpa has.'

"Times were hard for old Sid....He had to get a part-time job!"

"And of course, your great-great grandmother never really forgave me after that day I went to her cottage with the basket of food and I thought the wolf in the bed was her."

Best Grandma in Richmond!

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"You'll have to listen to Gramps tell you about how tough it was when he was a kid...but then he'll give you the dollar anyway!"

"So what's the moral of this tale?"

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"Grandmom, teach me about ancient history again, back in the days of Hi-Fi instead of Wi-Fi."

Kid to kid: 'I love Grandma. The only thing false that's ever come out of her mouth are her teeth.'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

The International Guffing Championships were poised on a knife edge. Farty Old Grandad was beating Farty Old Dog by a single 'Eggy Special'

'Ask your grandmother...she'll tell you...I'm one smart cookie...I never make the same mistake twice!'

'We learned about Vietnam in school today, Grandpa -- shame on you!'

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

It can be taken up at any age....

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Go visit Grandpa's web site."

"Am I boring you, kid?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

Prize vegetables.