Granddaughter's Wedding Gifts

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Demure lady with gloves

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"Google car."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

A heart shaped cake

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"