Granddaughter's Wedding T-Shirts

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Demure lady with gloves

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Lesbian civil partnership.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

'Oh my God. I love it!'

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

A heart shaped cake

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'