Daughter's Wedding T-Shirts

"Can it be ready by noon? My daughter's getting married. I was hoping to drive her down the aisle."

"My Marcia has always been so talented in so many areas. I only hope she finds a direction for herself and gets married."

'I've just worked out that our daughter's wedding will cost more than our first house...'

'Let's cut to the chase- how much is it going to cost me to give my daughter away?'

Mother of the Bride

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Robot Parts $5

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Butterfly Woman

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

You're my Mona Lisa.

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Remote control pirate bully

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'