Sister's Wedding Gifts

'My wife said it was up to me - I could come to her sister's wedding, or go to Vegas with you and the guys. Guess what I chose?'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Chez Nous Menu

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Fitness Programme for babies

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

How's the new one?

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

Moms gone wild

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'It's a girl and she's an artist in her gestational period.'

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

Caf� Scene

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

'I know its natural and all but seriously...Get a Barn!'

"It must be hereditary. My mom got pregnant too!!"

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

"And do you promise to love, honour, and give me all your personal information that I can pass on to third parties..."