Sister's Wedding Gifts

'My wife said it was up to me - I could come to her sister's wedding, or go to Vegas with you and the guys. Guess what I chose?'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

Chez Nous Menu

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Fitness Programme for babies

Feline Evolution.

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

How's the new one?

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

Moms gone wild

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

'It's a girl and she's an artist in her gestational period.'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

Caf� Scene

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

'I know its natural and all but seriously...Get a Barn!'

"It must be hereditary. My mom got pregnant too!!"

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'