Sister With Kids Gifts

'Oh my god, I forgot I had children.'

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

Collies Without Borders

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Pet Entertainers

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

'No provision for day care, eh?'

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

Sound Advice

"She's a Malaysian Longhair, but we don't know what."

'It took me five years to learn, but now I can climb trees! Let's see if that darn cat will laugh at me now...'

"This song is about my struggle with the bottle."

'You're having antoher doggie treat party, right?'