Grand Master Gifts

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

Counting ribs

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Steak Ted?'

Desert Island BBQ

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Filet minion

His New Grillfriend

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

Ode to a Grill

Burnt or Raw?

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"You like yours well done, right?"

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Not only were the bears coming out of hibernation but they went ahead and invited themselves to dinner.

"He was sent here from the future to terminate me, but then he really got into grilling."

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'Men's cooking'

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'