Chess Grandmasters Gifts

Hades. Here is the grandmasters section. They're chess nuts roasting on an open fire!

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Sweep the board.

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Prawn Amend

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

AIDS prevention

Existential Risk

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

Bored Baker

'It's good to see Dad keeping his mind active.'

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'I'll have to let you go, Bob - Ted, from accounting, is challenging my position as alpha male!'

'When you said we were going clubbing, I didn't know you meant History Club, Chess Club and Math Club.'

"It's baaaack!"

Cat chess

Beating Dad at Chess.

'I'm not here to blame. I'm here to help others blame.'

Chess player painting all the pieces his colour.

"How do you expect to learn to be a good loser when you win all the time?"

'Despite it's dominance at chess, our computer just plain stinks at charades.'

Funky Facts:Schools.

"Looks like Dad has finally given up on trying to beat us at chess."

"Jyoti, Jyoti, Jyoti… Power is a dangerous thing. Leave it to me."

"He called it a 'retreat,' but it looked more like a SCAMPER to me."

'That's it then - Time is money.'

On the Eve of his epic defeat by 'Deep Blue', Garry Kasparove awoke to an ominous warning,

Deal-Maker Trump

'By the way, dear, you might like to know...my investment club now owns 51% of your company.'