Chess Masters Gifts

"He started with the gunslinger opening, but quickly ran into the posse defense."

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Sweep the board.

'And this is Allan...he's the brain in the family!'

Guitar Man.

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

Target your message

'I think they're up to something.'

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'Checkmate I think!'

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

Prawn Amend

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Man and brain

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Checkmate!'

"It's a 12 inch chess board - the game's a foot."

Existential Risk

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

Bee Chess

AIDS prevention

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

Competitive tic-tac-toe

Man playing chess from his parked car.