Chess Players Gifts

God giving simultaneous chess exhibition in Heaven

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Sweep the board.

'And this is Allan...he's the brain in the family!'

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

Target your message

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

'I think they're up to something.'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Man and brain

Prawn Amend

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'Checkmate I think!'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Well, I'll say this: when the new boss came on board, it was a real game-changer for all of us!'

'Checkmate!'

"It's a 12 inch chess board - the game's a foot."

Existential Risk

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

AIDS prevention

Bee Chess

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

Competitive tic-tac-toe

Man playing chess from his parked car.

Bored Baker

Chess on TV

"They grow up so quickly."