Gran Gifts

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'

My gran likes the crossword.

Cottage cupcakes.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Young Frankenstein"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Playing Fetch.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

2021

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

A Good Batch.

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Pick me!"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Why do they do that?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'