Graduation Comedy Lover Gifts

Truancy Graduation

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

T-Rex as a graduation speaker. Everything was going well until someone in the first row moved!"

Now Firing.

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

Bovine Proctology Graduation

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

The Pi Advantage

'I thought he was passing out homework!'

"Sometimes I wish I went to a magnet school."

Some New Mortarboard Styles.

Cards for All Occasions. Wedding. Get Well. Grads. Congrats. Friendship. Birthday. One "graduation" and one "condolences" … He's afraid of the real world.

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

"They can't eliminate gymnastics! With our school's overcrowding, we need it!"

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

A credit to his species...

'I think we've found your problem. It's a Yale lock, but you have a Harvard key.'

"Are you nuts? If we say we've found the sun is a White Hole we'll lose our funding!"

'The first thing I gotta do is pay off my loan. My roommate loaned me 6 bucks last week for beer.'

"Jack is graduating at home from home school."

"Wow! Your dog really is smarter than an honor roll student!"

Admit it! You're gonna miss High School. Best 5 1/2 Years of Your Life.

'Hurry up, I gotta go to the bathroom!'

Graduating cats play with their mortar boards.

'It's outrageous - they don't want to be proper students like us at all - they come here to work!'

Their son was in a class of his own.

Dunce's Cap.

Perdue University.

A teacher in mortar board and gown