Graduation Comedy Gifts

New Graduate: Entering real life.

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

T-Rex as a graduation speaker. Everything was going well until someone in the first row moved!"

Now Firing.

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

Graduation Day At A Party School

Bovine Proctology Graduation

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

'Uh Dude, you're supposed to throw it straight up.'

"Sometimes I wish I went to a magnet school."

Zombie Academy Graduation Ceremony

'And remember you success will be measured by how much money you donate to the universities alumni fund.'

A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods

"His first day as campus police and he just saw too many kids with backpacks and electronic devices in their hands."

'The first thing I gotta do is pay off my loan. My roommate loaned me 6 bucks last week for beer.'

"Sorry, Higgins, but this isn't a diploma. It's a subpoena!"

Admit it! You're gonna miss High School. Best 5 1/2 Years of Your Life.

"Wow! Your dog really is smarter than an honor roll student!"

A credit to his species...

Freshers' week societies - 'Debt', 'Poverty' and 'No Money'.

"I'm sort of OK with being back on campus --- I just don't like the look of those new freshman."

"This is the office of 'so now you've decided that you finally need to graduate.' How may I help you?"

Jack Russell gets a Doctorate

A teacher in mortar board and gown